Share your Durp Family Time with the For(c)umz

So! Talk to 'yo parentz!

ASK THEM THINGS!

Me: Mum, du u <3 me?

Mother: Got a job?

Me: Nup

Mother: No comment...

I FEEL LOVED!

Baby Bookz? (Tell me I'm not the only person that has one! D:)

According to the date...me when I was 9

Q: What do you want to be when u grow up?

A: I wunnah be a snail!

*Notes of disappointment*

Random acts of shit!

I was walking down my stairs this lovely morning (6AM) WHEN I was blindsided by a PVC Pipe after stepping from my abode. Three (Or Four) Seconds laturh, I jumped to my feet and ran down the stairs where I saw my brother run! I jumped down the first set, into a longer PVC Pipe, hitting my stomach (MAH BABY!) from there I rolled down the stairs onto the tile, and screamed for 2 minutes.

Awkward Breakfest time!

Me:(Dumb Bitch)Oooooh People like mai Status!

Dad:(Annoyed) Wanna know the sound of noone giving a shit?

Me:(Trolololololol) Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? (:3)

Dad:(FastFaceVoiceMouth) Ever hear of women's rights? (Said veryvery fast)

Me:(Durp) Wut

Dad:(Annoyed. Growing anger) Me either *Swats with newspaper*

Me: ACK!(Or some other form of panic filled screech of terror)

Mom:(Angered/SarcasticLaugh) Hah! *Throws Poptart*

Me:(Suprised/Zomgwtfbbq) AHG What the fuck mom!?

Mom&Dad: Get the FUCK OUT!

I feel LOVED! Hmmm...I wrote this down but it lacks emotion...adding some!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just tell a story or two about funny things that go on in your family! or events that involved durpyness/comedy


You get the fucking idea, post things that are funny (Or Durplike) caused by Family. - Wesley Snipes

Scout.

What da fuck you on about?

BITCH, I AIN'T NOWHERE NEAR MY BREAKING POINT AND YET I AEKIFNGOINRNIHJOTNJON ONOIGNNHRNOPHRNHON

Iunno, Post 'yo shit that I think I made make sense, Yep. hmm I have a full post left...I can still type, and I won't waste room on the page! ONLY THEIR TIME READING THIS!

This happened, just yesterday.

Me: On interwebs getting stressed by server.
Me: (Sees odd picture)
Me: HOLY SHIT!

*Thumping is heard in the background*
*stepfather bursts in, stares at me*

*Stepfather: IT HAS COME TRUE!
*Stepfather drops his pants, and wears them on his head (He's going commando T.T)*
Stepfather: SHIT IS HOLY!
*Stepfather storms out screaming like zoidberg*

Me: *Straightface, in teh middle of sipping coffee*
Me: *Spit Take*
Me: *Goes to vomit into the toilet*

Me: *Playing Black ops*
Mom: TAKE OUT THE TRASH!
Me: *:C Faces and goes to take out the trash*
Mom: HOLY FUCK DROP WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING AND COME WASH THE DISHES
Me: *Facepalms, Dropping the trash bag and goes to wash the dishes*
Mom: HOLY FUCK YOU DIDN'T TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE! I TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES.
Me: *Angry faces, and stops The Dishwashing, going outside and picking up the bag filled with trash*
Mom: WHAT IS THIS, DUST? GO CLEAN THIS UP. NOW.
Me:FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Me and....
Ah who am I kidding?

My mom is dead and my dad was an abusive asshole who I haven't seen in 5 years.